Pakistani weddings are getting bigger and more boring everyday! Five days of non-stop celebration! That too, for someone else getting married.
Such. A. Drag.
Here are 12 things we all hate about Pakistani weddings:
1. Dholki, Dholki, Dholki, Dholki, ANOTHER Dholki, Mayoun, Dholki, Mehndi, Gaana night, Shaadi, Brunch, Valima and Dinners galore!!
Why? Why do they have to prolong it like this? Why can’t we have a one day wedding and be done with it?
2. The Phopho’s, daughter’s, mother-in-law arriving from AMREEKA!
She brings two chocolates for you and you have to share your room with her for the entire duration of wedding. I don’t want to share my room with her!
She practices witchcraft!
3. Dance performances on Baby Doll and Sheila ki jawaani!
Because we have no better songs to listen to. And they will repeat. At every mehndi you go to. WHY can’t we be more creative!? Why are they dancing at all?
I want food! Give me food!
4. Food after 1AM.
Who does that? That’s cruel! You can’t do that when 90% of the people at the wedding are there only for the food and other 10% is your immediate family!
5. People eat like they have never seen food before!
They make a mountain of food on their plates and don’t even eat half of it! Stop being greedy brats!
6. Your dad’s second cousin’s wife’s sister: “Kitni bardi hogyi ho?”
Firstly, I have never seen you in my entire life. Second, do you expect me to always stay a Chohti si bachi (little kid)? I mean the lack of conversation skills is appalling!
7. Rishta Aunties!
I hate them the most! They believe hooking people up is the only reason they have been sent down to Earth. I plan to go to all future weddings like:
8. The movie-uncle!
“Beta, idhar dekhein!” “Beta, baat mat karein” “Beta, ismale karien”
Me: “UNCLE, AAP SAANS NA LEIN”
9. Unwanted traditions!
Why? Why on the earth do you want the bride and groom to look birdbrained and do weird shit? Why would he want to lick yoghurt off her hand? She has mehndi on her hands, why put mehndi on a leaf then? Why do you want them to find a friggin’ coin from whatever? WHY is everyone after groom’s shoes?!
10. Selfies and selfie-sticks!
EVERYONE is taking a selfie! Selfies with mommy, selfies with daddy, selfies with khala, selfies with dulha, selfies with dulhan, selfies with the entire khandaan! And then another person starts the same cycle with another device… JUST NO.
11. Rukhsati
Why is the bride’s Amreeka wali khala crying? She doesn’t even live with the bride! WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING? Isn’t it supposed to be happy moment? Sure, the bride cries because she is leaving her family, but WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE CRY! You’re NOT making anything any easier!
12. The shaadi is over but the phopho/khala/auntie is still upset!
Certain aunts just HAVE to ruin everything for everyone!
“Mujhe side par bithaya tha”
TOH KYA?! Aap ki shaadi thi kya?!
A shaadi is supposed to be a sacred and beautiful ceremony shared by those who wish the bride and groom embarking upon this journey happiness and success. It should be celebrated and enjoyed. Less drama and more love, guys (especially the aunties out there)!
RELATED STORIES
0 
Comments
| Saira Khan said | Almost all of the points mentioned here are because we, being a majority Muslim country, still conduct our weddings with traditions that have been inherited from Indian (read. Hindu) culture. In Islam, such prolonged, extravagant and show-off style weddings are not recommended. They not banned, but rather discouraged. In Islam the wedding is supposed to be a nikah, followed by a walima dinner and that is it. |
| Burhan said | Be happy for the traditions and family you have. Those without have a profound sense of emptiness and would trade spaces with you in a sec. |
| Muhammad Awais said | So you explained it the right way! Pta nai kab hum in fazool rasoom ko na ada karna apni tazheeq na samjhain gay :( |
| NB said | The writer was bored out of her mind. I mean REALLY BORED. so bored, that first she ate her brain and then started writing. PS. I better not see you at any of the upcoming weddings |
| Usman said | Totally second you Saira, we have made our lives so hard ourselves, Islam is about simplicity and ease. The cost and rituals involved in weddings make them so costly that these days girl or boy have had 10+ pre-marital affairs. Zinna is cheap, Nikah is expensive. |
| Munza said | I think all these are the beauty of our culture dances ao many function ganay n all . I agree at time relatives become annoying but these traditions are amazing why ppl always look fr negative side |
| Wazir said | Its not necessary that what ever comes to ur mind, u shd write on. internet/www is already polluted. please keep www clean. |
| Ammar said | Meal after 1 am, thats truly i dunt want at all... but on a serious note that naach gana should avoid and menhdi maiyun too... |
| FAZ said | These traditions have made nikkah difficult and adultery easy. |
| Ahmed said | I think before anyone and more than anyone its about time the bride and groom should put their foot down and denounce such acts. Both parties should sit down and do the the total budget and whatever is the sum of all extravagance parties, the money should be gifted for their future after all both are son and daughter. Years back I did the same and based on according our Islamic values rather than cheap imported antics got our Nikah at home (though our intention was do in the local masjid) and devoid us of any outrageous and embarrassing moments. |
| Dr. Ayesha Ashfaq. said | Hillarious but damn true. Now we should get mature guys. |
| Genius_boy said | Simplicity is important. Extravaganza needs to be avoided. The traditions are not important are maybe they are South Asian Personally I am unfamiliar with being involved wedding but I think the author is very correct. I don`t like being social too much maybe. |
| Raja said | It should just be nikah in the morning with close friends and family, relaxed afternoon and then valima/party at night - all in the same day. My brother and cousin did that and it was way more fun for everyone, especially the bride and groom who actually got to enjoy the event too! Unfortunately, very few families will go for this as they want to do the whole show-shah shibang to show off to triple extended family "members" and "friends" whom no one has seen in decades. lol.. |
| Muhammad Hunain Ameen said | Well, if it wasn't for all the traditions and drama, people would find getting married easier and would practice it without hustle. For now its all about "log kia sochenge", " log kia kahenge", "Rishteydaaron mai competition hai... etc etc.. We need to grow up. |
| Yousuf said | We should observe simplicity in our functions. May it be wedding, aqiqah, soyum, chelum barsi, birthdays, anniversary or baby shower. Enjoying doesn't mean showing off your wealth. These days riches janaza are very elaborate. May Allah help us. |
| Madiha said | Hehehe - you and I should go on weddings together! We'll have fun abusing all the crap going on around us :D |
Twitter.com 
facebook.com
Almost all of the points mentioned here are because we, being a majority Muslim country, still conduct our weddings with traditions that have been inherited from Indian (read. Hindu) culture. In Islam, such prolonged, extravagant and show-off style weddings are not recommended. They not banned, but rather discouraged. In Islam the wedding is supposed to be a nikah, followed by a walima dinner and that is it.
be happy for the traditions and family you have. Those without have a profound sense of emptiness and would trade spaces with you in a sec.
So you explained it the right way!
Pta nai kab hum in fazool rasoom ko na ada karna apni tazheeq na samjhain gay
The writer was bored out of her mind. I mean REALLY BORED. so bored, that first she ate her brain and then started writing.
PS. I better not see you at any of the upcoming weddings
Totally second you Saira, we have made our lives so hard ourselves, Islam is about simplicity and ease.
The cost and rituals involved in weddings make them so costly that these days girl or boy have had 10+ pre-marital affairs.
Zinna is cheap, Nikah is expensive.
I think all these are the beauty of our culture dances ao many function ganay n all . I agree at time relatives become annoying but these traditions are amazing why ppl always look fr negative side
its not necessary that what ever comes to ur mind, u shd write on. internet/www is already polluted. please keep www clean.
meal after 1 am, thats truly i dunt want at all… but on a serious note that naach gana should avoid and menhdi maiyun too…
These traditions have made nikkah difficult and adultery easy.
I think before anyone and more than anyone its about time the bride and groom should put their foot down and denounce such acts. Both parties should sit down and do the the total budget and whatever is the sum of all extravagance parties, the money should be gifted for their future after all both are son and daughter.
Years back I did the same and based on according our Islamic values rather than cheap imported antics got our Nikah at home (though our intention was do in the local masjid) and devoid us of any outrageous and embarrassing moments.
Hillarious but damn true. Now we should get mature guys.
Simplicity is important. Extravaganza needs to be avoided. The traditions are not important are maybe they are South Asian Personally I am unfamiliar with being involved wedding but I think the author is very correct. I don`t like being social too much maybe.
It should just be nikah in the morning with close friends and family, relaxed afternoon and then valima/party at night - all in the same day. My brother and cousin did that and it was way more fun for everyone, especially the bride and groom who actually got to enjoy the event too! Unfortunately, very few families will go for this as they want to do the whole show-shah shibang to show off to triple extended family “members” and “friends” whom no one has seen in decades. lol..
Well, if it wasn’t for all the traditions and drama, people would find getting married easier and would practice it without hustle. For now its all about “log kia sochenge”, ” log kia kahenge”, “Rishteydaaron mai competition hai… etc etc.. We need to grow up.
We should observe simplicity in our functions. May it be wedding, aqiqah, soyum, chelum barsi, birthdays, anniversary or baby shower.
Enjoying doesn’t mean showing off your wealth. These days riches janaza are very elaborate. May Allah help us.
Hehehe - you and I should go on weddings together! We’ll have fun abusing all the crap going on around us